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A moofable feast.

Be brave enough to burn and you'll be brave enough to fly.

STATUS: Tuesday, June 7th
polar bear 2


Yesterday was a pretty kick-awesome writing day, with a word count for fiction in excess of 3,000 words, split about evenly between new project Making Out Like Bandits and Tales of MU. While I am happy with my output, I did not quite accomplish everything I wanted to yesterday (I’d hoped to finish the MU chapter, and there’s a charity project I need to wrap up my contribution to). It took me longer than I’d expected to get into the swing of things during the day. Fatigue and soreness took their toll.

This morning, I dealt with phone nonsense this morning. It was firmly in the “don’t wanna” column the whole time, but… had to. The general flakiness was getting worse, the habit of getting caught in a battery-draining reboot cycle went from “every once in a while” to “daily” to “several times a day”. After looking at the options, I decided against filing an insurance claim to pay $50 for what would likely be a refurb when I was a month away from my contract’s end, when I’d planned on upgrading… and which I now realize is also my next travel time (it’s the 3rd of July, and we’re spending that weekend with my family).

Non-writing-wise, yesterday, I took stock of where I want to be with the Tales of MU schedule. I feel like I could be doing three times a week, but I also feel like I need to have some reserve capacity. I would also like to be able to offer my MU patrons a premium like seeing the chapters a bit early, which is easier to do if I’m writing two a week versus three (and might give me a better chance to catch slip-ups like “father” for “mother” in the chapter last week, before they go live for the whole audience). I’m still going back and forth about whether to operate that way. I expect I’ll decide next week. Either way, it’s going to be a Tuesday/Thursday update schedule for the time being.


I took the money I expected to spend filing an insurance claim and instead bought a budget offbrand smartwatch. I might regret that, but I’ve been missing the functionality on phone of having a window-view case thing that let it function like a pocket watch, and the options for my new phone in that area are not appealing. I’ve never seen myself as a “smartwatch person” (and was never much of a “watch person”, back in the day), but as the kind of outfits I wear don’t tend to have much in the way of pockets, it can be tedious to dig my phone out to check the time or other simple information requests. I’m also trying to get more into the habit of accessorizing, and having a functional accessory I wear every day seems like a good way to make that work.

I’m trying not to be discouraged that my Patreon total is basically just sitting there. I have been doing not much with it in any kind of organized fashion for basically a couple of years now, and I’m only a week into my first month of actual operations. Yesterday I re-wrote the page to make it more clear what I’m offering, and I also added a patron-only story installment. I’ve been telling myself that there will be a spike of interest when I get my first new short story up later in the month, and again when I do my first monthly zine. I’m honestly not sure what I’ll do if there’s not. Something different, obviously. Just not sure what.

I think it’s something like this: I can get people very interested in supporting individual things I do. I feel like if I created different funding platforms where it’s: “Give me $1 a month for queer romance.”, “Give me $1 a month for political discourse.”, etc., I’d have a lot more people giving me a dollar a month. But if I say, “I do all these things. Give me $1 a month to support any or all of them.”, that’s less compelling. It’s a perception problem, basically. When I was teasing Making Out Like Bandits, I had people tell me in so many words they’d pay money to read that; so far, as near as I can tell, no one has. Because instead of a button that says, “Pay money to read this.”, there’s one that says, “Pay money to support this author and you can read many things.” I don’t know how to solve this, but neither do I have the time or energy or unique email addresses to create an individual Patreon for all the individual things I do.

I mean, the zine thing might change that. Pulling together everything I do and packaging it might make people go, “Ohhhhhhhhh. All this in a month, for $1? Sign me up!” But I need my month’s content for that to happen. So I’m trying to be patient and not give up on the model before I’m able to launch it properly.

I really am in better financial shape as of this month and next month than in preceding months. But not where I want to be, nor where I expected to be.

The State of the Me

A little lingering fatigue. Not much. I slept well last night.

Plans For Today

Have a chapter of Tales of MU to finish and post. Between having some errands to run and business-business to take care of (the phone thing, ordering new business cards), I’m not planning on doing much else, creatively, today.


Originally published at Blue Author Is About To Write.

This entry automatically cross-posted from http://alexandraerin.dreamwidth.org/732078.html. Comment hither or thither. Void where yon.

A (Very Brief) Self Inventory
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Despite having had what is, by all objective counts, a pretty good week so far, I’ve been anxious and irritable, and I had the idea to do a sort of self-inventory post about what is bothering me, both to put it into perspective and to calm the voice that is telling me I have no right to feel this way when things are going well.

As soon as I started thinking about it, though, I realized that pretty much every item on the list would come down to the same thing: phone troubles.

Can’t easily have my calming soundtracks playing in my earbuds throughout the day when my phone is unreliable.

My phone’s Kindle app is the most comfortable and convenient way for me to read books.

I use my phone to stay connected to people in a way that’s more manageable than the computer.

Basically, my phone is an important part of my daily routine and my self-care.

If it had just broken outright or gotten lost, then I would have dealt with the problem immediately. Because it was in a downward spiral, though, I put off actually doing something about it until it got “really bad”, and as a result, I prolonged the experience. Dealing with it meant dealing with customer service and the insurance claims process, which is also stressful.

So basically, it’s a combination of one of my biggest anxiety/stress management tools becoming suddenly available/unreliable in a way that adds more anxiety and stress.

I did actually bite the bullet and deal with it this morning, and I just this moment got a notification that the new phone has already shipped. Super awesome, given that I was quoted a delivery estimate of June 10th-14th. There’s no delivery estimate on the order tracking yet, but it says it’s being overnighted, which means either tomorrow or Thursday. I expect I’ll still be on pins and needles until it arrives, and then I’ll probably have another anxiety spike when I have to deal with setting it up, but at least the end is in sight?

And, seriously, everything else is going well.


Originally published at Blue Author Is About To Write.

This entry automatically cross-posted from http://alexandraerin.dreamwidth.org/732236.html. Comment hither or thither. Void where yon.

A Birthday Wish
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So, it’s my birthday on Friday, June 10th. Want to do something nice for a disabled trans indie author? Drop some cash to send me to WorldCon 74, in Kansas City. This is the fundraiser that ticked off someone so badly they spread a rumor I have a “full scholarship” to the con, which put a brief hold on payouts from the page at what might have been a crucial juncture.

Who would do such a thing? I honestly don’t know. Not specifically. I do know that my satirical coverage of the Hugos last year didn’t make certain self-identified “Puppies” of varying temperaments very happy, and I doubt very much they like the idea of me on the ground at this year’s Hugo ceremony, where I can continue skewering their rhetoric with my signature aplomb and panache.

That’s the thing about these reactionary cliques: they say they’re in favor of the free speech and the free market, right up until people start saying things they disagree with or spending money on things they don’t like. Well, here’s a chance to show them what you think of that. Just think of every dollar you send as a rolled-up newspaper to bop them on the nose… not that you should do that to a real puppy, of course. The difference between actual puppies and adult human beings throwing a tantrum because they’re being told that science fiction and fantasy belong to everyone is that the humans really should know better.

Go to http://www.gofundme.com/ae2worldcon to help. And if you can’t afford to pitch in or you already have, you can help by spreading this!

Originally published at Blue Author Is About To Write.

This entry automatically cross-posted from http://alexandraerin.dreamwidth.org/732451.html. Comment hither or thither. Void where yon.